Sasquatch Get Sappy Over Soupy

Sasquatch around the world are mourning the death of Soup Sales. The actor, comedian was best known as a philanthropist in the Sasquatch community. According to a spokessasquatch, "He always made time to visit secret shelters and bring a laugh to young, under-privileged Sasquatch addicted to the pipe or just dealing with basic, ontological identity crises."

The influence of this legendary comic can be found in a Sasquatch dictionary left in a cab in St. Mary's Ontario.

Soupy. (adj.) to spread joy and laughter, the way Soupy would after a few bottles of rum, while skeet shooting at a secret terrorist training ground in Northern Ontario.

Example: Dude, you're like so Soupy.

Thanks to our team of Bolivian researchers for digging deep and coming up with the facts on this one.

Pie in your face Soupy. Sleep tight.

American Sasquatch Wisdom

Where's Michael Moore when you need him? This is an excerpt from a conversation on an American blog forum.



Bigfoot doesn't exist
"They haven't found a dead one. With the population growing as [fast as it] is someone would have shot one by now."

While this man was waiting for his automatic camera to take another snap, his truck was stolen by an undetected thief and never seen again.

Sasquatch CSI

Where will David Caruso end up?

[Actual copy from http://www.ontariosasquatch.com/]

At Ontario Sasquatch, our goal is to conduct thorough investigations. We strive to use the highest standards of evidence collection. We will make every attempt to contact you in a timely fashion and do an on-site investigation.

We are affiliated with many respected and serious research groups in Canada and the United States. Visit our Other Sites page for links to our close associates.

Sasquatch Pick Pockets Clean Up

In some alternative hippie universe Sasquatch pick pockets paid a skinny drunk guy to set off a dance craze so they could loot party-goers. At approximately 0:56 seconds, a Sasquatch youth can be seen joining the fun.

Sasquatch is northern Alaska have responded to the Korean missile crisis by promising not to let Governor Sarah Palin leave the state.

Sasquatch and Obama. It had to happen.

It's no secret that Sasquatch in Alberta Canada have been harboring Che Guevara since they helped him fake his death in 1967. According to an email intercepted by the RCMP, Che was recently spotted picking mushrooms wearing a Barak Obama tee shirt. It must be true. You can't make up crap like that.

Sasquatch Barber Shops Thriving in Bad Economy

A leading magazine devoted to franchise opportunities has named mobile sasquatch barber shops the "most promising opportunity in 2009".

Calling the business recession-proof, the magazine offers a buyers guide to used RVs including this 1987 "Bigfoot" model.

Send a Sasquatch to Happy Camp

This is true and we love these guys.

A ceramic statue of Big Foot hitchhiking to Happy Camp is one of many art pieces on display in “The Sasquatch Chronicles” at Pacific Western Traders.

Ray Charles Rocks Sasquatch New Year

Singer, performer Ray Charles was just one of many visually impaired musicians duped into playing live concerts to sold out Sasquatch crowds. Event organizers would claim the horrific smell came from a nearby chicken farm. Handlers were paid off in cash and the promise of enlightenment in the afterlife.

The Unknown Sasquatch

We feel confident squashing the rumour that The Unknown Comic was a child Sasquatch. The feet are too small.

Don't Jump the Sasquatch

An anonymous source tells Your Friday Sasquatch Report that the original script for the 1977 episode of Happy Days called for the Fonz to jump over a Sasquatch in a Zodiac wielding a chain saw.

The producers changed their minds at the last minute, claiming that it was too much to ask viewers to believe in Sasquatch and the possibility that the Fonz would actually wear his brown leather jacket and little girlie shorts on water skis.