Hatch is Top Sasquatch Action Figure Collectible

Survivor season-one-winner Richard Hatch is this year's most popular human action figure according to Big Collectibles Magazine. No shit. This could be real.

BJ and the Sasquatch

A source close to the bear confirms that the animal actor was grateful for the studio's last-minute decision to switch the role of cute-but-completely-implausible side-kick from a teen Sasquatch to an adult chimpanze.

According to the unconfirmed source, "It really came down to the practicality of shooting in the big rig."

Now roll down memory lane with your favourite good-deed-doin' tough guy. If this doesn't make you want to teach your chimp how to sing, you're not alive.

Sasaquatch of Influence

The Sasquatch of Influence conference wrapped up last week. No minutes were published nor photos taken at the exclusive, reclusive event.

Sasquatch of Influence are nominated by peers in exchange for equally biased nominations in the future. "It's tough to choose," according the officials, "because the Sasquatch community prides itself on not changing. Therefore, the greatest influencers are those who do the least."

The Portrait Theory for the Existence of Sasquatch

Our researchers have been looking for new lobby art. After scouring the world for the best Sasquatch portraits, they made an interesting observation: Painters from around the world captured the same genetic details. How would this possible unless they were in the presence of real Sasquatch? At this point, we invite you, loyal reader, to examine the perfectly symmetrical teeth detailed in these very different paintings.

Sims Means Eternity for Beloved Sasquatch

Long after we're dead (meaning me and my team of illegal Bolivian researchers) Sasquatch will live on (at least until the power runs out and the Internet just goes to sleep like one of those old tvs after the national anthem) because he is alive in the virtual world of the Sims and apparently screwing white chicks.

Sasquatch Plan Lady Gaga Remake Bash

Sasquatch around the world are celebrating Cinco de Mayo today. According to Big Trends, Big Feet, many will be reenacting the US Military remake of Lady Gaga's telephone video just because.