No Sasquatch Ban at Penguin Classic

Antarctica was once again host to the annual “Running With The Penguins” festival last month. The notoriously slow event attracts only the most patient thrill seekers. One fox, two deer and a raccoon suffered serious injury when an intoxicated Sasquatch attempted to slide across the icy terrain like the famous Emperor Penguins. Officials say this is the first incident of its kind and they won’t ban Sasquatches from future events.