Pasta Traced to Sasquatch Philosophers

An Italian Sasquatchologist tracing the centuries-old connection between Sasquatches and pasta has uncovered proof that most of today's popular shapes are named after ancient Sasquatch philosophers, including Cavatappi, Conchiglie, Mostaccioli and Vermicelli. He regrets to inform readers that Bow Tie pasta was named by the University's advertising agency. He calls the decision crass and obvious, accusing the writers of settling for the low-hanging fruit of obvious visual connection. So far, no one seems to give a damn about this.