Friday, November 24, 2006

Mexicans Tight-Lipped About Sasquatch Ploy

Mexican authorities attempted to lure Sasquatches out of the woods by advertising a moustache look-a-look contest. Sasquatches were encouraged to fashion their notoriously coarse and smelly lip hair to resemble famous moustaches. Contestants could enter in any of the following categories:

Rip Van Winkle, Otto von Habsburg, Kemal Ataturk, Attila the Hun, Wilhelm the I and II, Mohandas Ghandi, Emiliano Zapata, Theodore Roosevelt, George Clemenceau, Maxim Gorky, Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Horatio Kitchener, Martin Luther King, Salvador Dali, Albert Einstein, Albert Schweitzer, Friedrich Nietzshe, Freddie Mercury, Douglas Fairbanks, Clark Gable, Charlie Chaplin, Errol Flynn, Hulk Hogan, Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday or Mexican President Vicente Fox.

That’s our attempt to look like professional, unbiased journalism and it’s your Sasquatch Report. Until we look at each other again, keep your head down and don’t forget to shave your back.

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