Sasquatches Sever Alcatraz Peninsula

According to an article in 'Severed Peninsulas' magazine, the tip of Alcatraz Peninsula was severed from mainland San Francisco by the Sasquatch Corp of Engineers in late 1743. The island was to be a safe haven resort for Sasquatch seeking peace from the natives.

It's true.

Sasquatch Readers Writer

Wow. When we stuck our toes in the icy waters of Sasquatch grammar we had no idea that you would give a rat's ass. But you do.

According to our in-house grammar guru, Sasquatch is both singular and plural, like elk, moose, white trash, antelope, buffalo, bison, mink and bass, to name a few.

It just goes to show, you can chuck the rules of scientific proof out the window, but don't mess with the rules of grammar.

The Summer of Sasquatch Love

1967, was the Summer of Love. For the hippies who refused to leave the intersection of Haight and Ashbury in San Francisco, it's now the 41st Summer of Love and they aren't looking so loved anymore.

On a team building trip to the outdated district our team of researchers stopped to question the local hippy population. Here are just a few of the answers we got.

FSR: Have you ever been a Sasquatch?
Yeah man. There's one working a Ben and Jerry's right now. Are you hungry?

FSR: If all hippies have long hair, and sasquatch have long hair, are all Sasquatch hippies?
Whoa. You're right. I don't know. Are you hungry?

Sasquatches? Sasquai? Big feet? Now You Know.

Young Christopher W from Canada writes: What is the plural form of Sasquatch?

Well young Christopher, you might think that it's Sasquatches, or Sasquai, or even Big feet, but according to our in-house grammar guru you'd be WRONG little tyker.

Here at Your Friday Sasquatch we prefer the term "big hairy bastards" when referring to more than one Sasquatch.

Now stop wasting our drinking time with your english homework.

Until next time, don't believe everything you read, keep your head down and don't forget to shave your back.

Sasquatch Readers Write

One of our long-time readers sent this story, recently published by the CBC. It begs the question "Is the value that taxpayers get for their money real or just an entertaining myth?"

A mother and daughter on a berry-picking excursion in northwestern Ontario, Canada, claim the giant, black, hulking figure they saw last week might be the legendary sasquatch, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reported Monday.

At roughly the same time, a private Sasquatch-funded newspaper ran this story.

Who the hell goes berry picking? Don't those things come from Mexico now?