Sleep Tight Smelly Sasquatch

“Imagine a world with no mufflers.” This is the first line of a doctoral thesis published last week through the faculty of music studies at a prominent Irish university. The newly crowned doctor traces modern automobile mufflers to Australian Aboriginal didgeridoos (a long musical instrument like a trumpet that turns fluttering lip movement into moose calls). However, the thesis suggests, the didgeridoo was inspired by a nighttime flatulence suppressant used by Sasquatches to muffler nocturnal gas. Today, the use of nighttime fart mufflers is almost exclusively ceremonial, much like didgeridoo playing and using mufflers to disguise the true environmental impact of internal combustion engines. And so, as the Judge says, the dance goes on.