Sasquatch. James Sasquatch.

An ancient Sasquatch spy manual may explain why so few Sasquatches are seen or photographed. According to the secret files, now in the possession of Canadian authorities, who are channel surfing between satellite footage of radical fringe terrorist cell training camps and “Maple Sugar Tapping with the Stars”, Sasquatches may be blue with a layer of clear, light absorbent fur, similar to that found on polar bears, which are, of course, black.

If the documents are true and reliable, a Sasquatch’s may be able to stand with his or her back to the sun and “disappear” into the horizon. The light from the sun, absorbed by clear fur would radiate glue or grey, thus creating the closest thing to invisibility known to modern spy technologists.

If the documents turn out to be false, it's doubtful that anyone will give crap.