Sasquatch beaches now give bathers the option of wearing tops.
So-called topfull beaches are in response to the increased threat of skin cancer due to a depletion of the earth's ozone layer. A spokesasquatch said, "We spend most of our time in the woods. We're not used to harsh sunlight. Frankly, I've burned my ass a few times and I'm not opposed to anyone seeking a little sensible protection."
Sasquatch purists argue, "Wear the grimy layer of sweat-soaked, smelly hair the good lord gave ya. I'm a Sasquatch and I'm proud."
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