In the men's bathroom at our secret headquarters we have a can of air freshener. It's called "Country Scent". I grew up in the country. Most days, it smelled a lot like fertilizer and cow shit.
This made the editorial staff at Your Friday Sasquatch Report wonder what kind of scents Sasquatches (who live in the country) would choose to mask their world-famous odor.
Here are the leading products in the air freshener/solid (non-plug-in) category sold at secret locations to Sasquatches the world over.
Transit Pits
A moist, pungent scent simulating the armpit stench of a multi-ethnic crowd on a downtown subway car.
Dirty Ass
A mixture of butt sweat and incontenence, suggesting a Euchre at downtown, human rest home.
Dance of the Dentures
Dry plastic cup scum and rotting beets take the soul back to gentler times at Grandpa's house.
Coal Burner
A free-enerprise, unregulated, smog-filled gasoline vapor that stings the eyes and sticks to clothes.
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1 comment:
I had a question about Sasquatches. But I forgot what it was. Is this common?
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