Scotch Lovers Toast the Sasquatch

First, a little history, courtesy of Charles MacLean's fine book entitled, Malt Whisky ( a must-read for every scotch enthusiast). According to MacLean, whom we worship here at the Friday Sasquatch Report, "One tradition holds that the mysteries of distilling were borne across the Irish Sea by the Gaelic-speaking Celts who founded the Kingdom of Dalriada on Scotland's western seaboard in the early sixth century, known to history as the Scots. The Scots Gaelic for aqua vitae [water of life] is uisge beatha, (pronounced 'ooshkie bayahah') which was abbreviated to uiskie in the 17th century, and to whiskie by 1715. This much is interesting and true.

Our Bolivian researchers believe that in the late 16th century, distillers in the Islay region discovered that adding one pound of Sasquatch hair to each peat bale gave their regional blends a pungent, woodsy aroma unmatchable by their competitors to the north. The foul aroma given off during fermentation was called gagmae pukahah, which was later abbreviated to gag me, I'm puking.